Today’s guest post comes from a very close and personal friend of mine. Bethany Weaver has been my best friend since I was 5 years old, and it has been truly amazing having her beside me through all of life’s ups and downs.
Bethany is 25 from Indiana. She is a book reviewer/blogger with here own website, author, and mother to two amazing little boys (my godsons). You can follow her on Twitter at @_bethanyweaver and Instagram at @betweave. If you are into romance and murder mystery novels, I immensely encourage you to follow her.
You Have to be Able to Fix Yourself.
Forgive me as I’ve never written a post like this before. I am not typically open with my feelings, unless with Nykole but I wanted to stay on theme with her brand—after all what a wonderful cause to bring attention to. Nykole has been my rock and sounding board for my whole life. This website is a testament to the kind, warm person she is. If you don’t know who that is by now, I’m unsure how you’ve found yourself on this blog but welcome! Nyk.ole is the kick-ass owner of Perks of Being Twenty-Something.
I’m don’t exactly know how to start this post so I’m just going to leap.
I’m going to tell you the biggest thing I have learned in my twenty-five years of life; you cannot rely on others to fix you. It’s toxic. People are not slaves to your wounds.
PEOPLE ARE NOT SLAVES TO YOUR WOUNDS.
Now, I don’t mean this to say that there is not someone out there, partner or friend, who cannot complete you (Nicole is my literal soulmate). That doesn’t mean that you won’t one day find someone who will make all the bad things feel just a little less bad. You’ll find that person and when you do, they will weather the storm with you. This definitely doesn’t mean you should bottle up your feelings—that’s a whole other level of toxic in-of-itself.
But…you should not reply on someone to fix you. Ultimately, it is not their job.
Relying on someone to fix you is bullying yourself into being something that you are not. It’s walking around town and comparing yourself to others. It’s getting on social media and wondering why your life can’t be as perfect as so-&-so. In case you were unaware, people do not get on social media to highlight their failures or faults. No ones life is that perfect.
Relying on someone to fix you is criticizing yourself. It is criticizing other people. It’s picking each other apart until there is nothing left. It’s rigging the system of your mind to ensure that you are always on bottom and you will always be on bottom. It’s wondering why you aren’t good enough and I swear, you are good enough.
It is unfulfillment in life, careers, friendships, partnerships.
Another person can complete you. They could be your soulmate, but they cannot fix you. That burden is yours. They cannot dim their light so you can feel better about yourself. They cannot heal you, but they can be there while you learn to love yourself and you have to learn to love yourself.
If you cannot yet love yourself, start small and know that you are not alone in your feelings. We are all still learning to love ourselves.