None of us know who we are.
Who are we – really – when we are in our twenties? What are we? Isn’t part of being in your twenties is figuring that out? More or less? Maybe?
So, I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we’ll never know most of them. But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.
Much like anyone in their twenties, I don’t know much about myself. I don’t want to sound too cliché, but I, in a way, believe in the mantra that I should “learn more and more about myself every day” and all that jazz. But the truth is that I still have plenty of days where I literally have no idea who I am. And just as many where I have no idea who or what I want to be.
And here is a secret for all of you reading this: Literally – no one – in their twenties knows who/what they are either. Take that as you will. Whether that be positively or negatively. But understand that you aren’t alone in that. Because even though no one may talk about it, it’s true. None of us have any clue what is going on.
I hold these truths to be self evident.
Rock bottom became a solid foundation upon which I rebuilt my life.
– J.K. Rowling
There are some things, I guess, that I do know about myself:
I know that my name is Nykole. I know I am 25 years old. I know I have a cat, and adventures with her might show up from time to time on this blog. I am in a healthy relationship with a very encouraging and supportive partner. They may also make small appearances here and there (with their consent of course). I have, at this moment, a Bachelor’s Degree, and will be finishing a Master’s Degree within the very near future.
I also know that I have issues with anxiety and depression. I have for most of my life. I’ve spent time in counseling here and there. Off and on. Right now, things are good. But as anyone with any mental illness knows, the “good” feeling isn’t permanent.
Life, like everything else, changes. I am changing every day.
So who am I?
I know I am the author of this blog. And I know that I will be learning about who I am along with you through each entry. It is a journey we will take together. And one that I am excited, and scared, to take. Because while I may not have been able to choose a lot of things in my life, as you will read, I have the power to decide what to do from here.
And I choose to do this.
Welcome to my life.